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(Ernie Baxter + friend back home)

Thursday, May. 30, 2002 @ 1:06 am

ERNIE: Do you feel old? Accelerated or something?

FRIEND BACK HOME: Huh? What are you talking about, man?

ERNIE: I feel fucking old man. I feel like I deserve a shit load of IRS cash or something. Some goddamn Social Security.

FRIEND BACK HOME: You got some years to wait for that, my man.

ERNIE: Dude, I seriously feel like somethingís happened the past year or so. Like we skipped something. I donít know. You donít feel it, huh? Maybe itís cause you partied in school.

FRIEND BACK HOME: Dude, we went to the same school. You know how boring that place is.

ERNIE: Yeah, I know. But you went out and did things. You had those floor parties in your dorm you told me about with rap music and all. I didnít do anything in college. I thought about my ex-girlfriend all throughout college.

FRIEND BACK HOME: Last time we talked you were freaking out over me shaving my head. Did that have to do with this feeling old thing, too?

ERNIE: See thatís what Iím talking about, man. Wasnít something supposed to come in between college and shaving your head to hide your baldness? Like a career or something? I ache when I sit down, dude. Iím aching already.

FRIEND BACK HOME: You know what I always think about? One time at school we were in the library. You told me that you could see the overhead lights reflecting off my scalp. That was the first time someone pointed out my thinning. I think about that all the time.

ERNIE: How is it that I ended up being a mailman? How does that happen?

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