THE MUMBLINGS OF ADAM VOITH
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ONE REASON TO IGNORE "KILL YOUR TELEVISION" STICKERS
Friday, Jun. 07, 2002 @ 1:33 am

Because there's a closet Christian Rocker on televison playing the Carson Daily late show and insane numbers of teenage girls are singing along and their glittershit make-up is running (this one girl was probably on the guest list if I'm reading that confident smile at the camera correctly). What's up with every one of these crying girls freaking out when someone finally tells them they look like Britney Spears. They're going to get hostile!

CARSON ASKES ABOUT THE BANDíS REVOLVING DOOR POLICY AND CONSTANT LINE-UP CHANGES.

Secret Christian Rocker says itís not about that. Itís participatory with the crowd. Itís become more theirs. They kinda outplay me every night. Itís not distracting at all. Thatís the beauty of having people involved.

CARSON: YOU USED TO BE IN A COUPLE PUNK ROCK BANDS? YOUíVE GOT THE TATTOOS. WHATíS UP WITH THEÖ UHÖ (points to crowd)Ö WHAT YOUíVE GOT GIRLS CRYING HERE, RIGHT?

Dude says: Well, I think thatís pretty punk rock. There are wild cheers. He begins to strum a solo number.

The teenagers up in the front of the Carson studio have a bunch of zits. Some of them have the foundation caked on to cover it up and it looks like when Britney is closing out a show and sheís really sweaty and her face sorta swells up like wet bread.

Dude is singing about how some girl should kiss him hard because soon theyíre not going to be kissing anymore, and out in the crowd a sea of Britney cries and imagines again (just like at last nightís show!) kissing the sweet, sweet Secret Christian Rocker.

Coming soon to a Rolling Stone cover: ďEmo has found its Creed: The acoustic heartbreak and secret spiritual shadow of --------- ------------.Ē

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