THE MUMBLINGS OF ADAM VOITH
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IN THE HOLE & AT THE MERCY OF THE COURT
Monday, Jan. 27, 2003 @ 12:11 am

I got pulled over today when a cop noticed my out-of-date tags. As I handed him pieces of paper and information, a series of dates flew from the officer's mouth... all of them expired.

Expired tabs
Expired license
Expired insurance card

GRAND TOTAL IN FINES: $1150.00

Had not my friend Tom been riding along with me, I'd have been asked to leave the car and cruise home with this over-ambitious copper. I'd be all: Hey honey, I'm home! This nice piece of horse ass was kind enough to drop me off. Instead, he kinda smiled, as though he were going to do us a little favor, and told me and Tom to do a Chinese Fire Drill, as Tom's license was non-offensive and up-to-date.

Now, the old insurance card in the glove box was just a jackass move, the current and valid card stuffed in a filing cabinet in the basement. But I've retrieved it now. The judge will knock off $500.00 once I flash it. As for the other shit: I'm at the mercy of the court. I should probably get a haircut and shave.

Send money!

- - - - - - -

STAND UP, ERNIE BAXTER: YOU'RE DEAD
a new novel by ADAM VOITH with comic illustrations by Mike Lowery

My new book is available for pre-order at tnibooks.com. It'll ship mid-February.

"My name is Ernie Baxter, and my hands are tied. My history has passed to the memories and stories of my mother and ex-girlfriend. Bosses and co-workers. Bartenders and insurance agents. Friends and gym teachers."

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